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Thursday November 25, 1999 - 2:30 AM EST - By James Hromadka



It is almost time, folks. 1999 is almost over, and now it’s time for those daily news broadcasts about how we need to stock up on water and matches and hide in our bunkers. Just remember to bring your Visor. It will last you until 6:28:15 a.m. on February 6, 2040. (Make sure you keep your receipt!) It gets boring pretty quickly down there in the bunker, so you’ll need to have the necessities on your Visor before you close that hatch or else it’ll be a long eternity. I have listed below several of the things you’ll need for your Visor while in your bunker:

  • AAA Batteries (48) -- Good for many months of looking at your completely free schedule
  • InvertHack -- You are going to be using that backlight a lot, so make the backlight look better
  • Mirror -- Doubles as an excellent flashlight
  • MyBible -- Read about the Apocalypse now so you will be ready
  • Memoware -- Cram as much of the site as possible into your 8MB Visor so you will have plenty to read
  • SimCity -- Plan out how you are going to continue the species
  • Kyle’s Quest -- Only thing you can do now is wish you were someone else.
  • AvantGo -- Keep that last copy of your favorite website for posterity
  • Long, Sharp Paper clip -- Just in case you can’t go on any longer.
  • Backup Module -- If you lose your programs, how are you going to get them back?
VisorCentral understands the concerns that people may have had about the Year 2000. We are not going to explain why 1/1/2000 is not the start of a new millennium. Yours truly will not be one of the people joyously ringing in the new year. I will be at my other job making sure there are no hiccups. As for VC, please rest assured that we are doing everything possible so our website will be available at 01/01/00 00:00:00. Many websites have disclaimers about Year 2000 readiness. This is the best Y2K statement I have seen. I cannot hope to be as in-depth, but here is VisorCentral’s Year 2000 Statement anyway:

VisorCentral (hereafter "VC"), a publication of Peracto® Web Development, hereby certifies that the website will continue to work on and after January 1, 2000, providing that the Internet does not explode. In the event that the timestamps on the website do not display properly, please understand that EST actually means "estimated" and cannot be construed as the actual time. Because of this, we ask that you do not set your thermonuclear devices to be in sync with the servers that VC runs on. The staff at VC will do our best to have a backup of the website in the event that our hard drive turns to goo. If this does happen, rest assured that we will work around the sundial to bring VC back online. We understand the importance of obtaining up-to-the-minute Handspring® Visor™ news and reviews, and accessing our wonderful Discussion Areas™.

VC shall not be held responsible in the event that you do not remember how to turn on your Visor, did not receive your visor, or were told a CSR Story™ that must be shared. We will have VC back up just as soon as we can. Any financial loss you suffer because VC was not functional will not be reimbursed by VC.

Please direct any questions you have here.

Happy Holidays everyone! And tell me what you are doing for Y2K

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